1. I have a huge belly as can be seen in the photo!
This photo was not Photoshopped – I did not suck in or force out my belly. It is in its natural state.
However, I took this photo after a BIG dinner followed by chocolate chip cookies. And it also doesn’t help that I haven’t been doing any exercise whatsoever for 6 months!
Apologies if I have burst the I-thought-Ling-had-a-flat-stomach bubble.
And my pink polka dot panties are from Primark and nail polish on toes from OPI.
2. Sod’s Law after my recent Rugrant Rant.
The British term Sod’s Law is the American equivalent of Murphy’s Law, which basically means “Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong!”
Hence, because I stated that I don’t want children at the moment, I might just end up with one.
Also commonly used in pregnancy terms as, “it was an accident” or “it was a surprise”.
3. My period is late
My period is usually regular like regular-sized fries from McDonald’s.
However, it has been up to weird tricks since I had a contraceptive implant inserted – which I shall elaborate more of in the next reason.
4. The failure rate of Implanon is 0.05%
For those of you are unaware, I had this contraceptive implant inserted in my arm just before getting married in August. Whenever I tell my girlfriends, they have common misconceptions of Implanon, so let me say this here :-
– Implanon only needs to be replaced every 3 years, not 3 months.
– Implanon does not affect fertility after removal (but the pill does!).
– For further information, please see your doctor or if you’re keen, click on the Wiki link here.
And to my guy friends (who clearly did not have a clue about the Implanon), I’m sorry. I lied. I said that the implant was like a sperm collector and every few weeks, I would have to empty out the sperm…ahem…otherwise my arm would get heavy…sorry!!! LOL anyone??
No contraception is 100% guaranteed except no sex!
0.05% failure rate is small…but what if it happens to me??!!
5. My Husband has Super-Sperm!
One of my girlfriends told me that her husband has Super-Sperm. They already have one child which was a “pleasant surprise”, i.e. not planned. Obviously because of his Super-Sperm, they conceived without trying.
So…it got me thinking. What if my husband has Super-Sperm too? I asked him if he did and he just laughed. Men?!
Me : I think I’m pregnant!
Him : Stop being paranoid!
Me : I’m not…but what if I am!
Him : The first thing I’m gonna do is sue your doctor! (and then he laughs)
Anyway, I’m going to swan around thinking that I’m pregnant until proven otherwise!! Ooh, maybe we’ll buy our first pregnancy test together this weekend – what an adventure! And obviously, I will update you all. Eating for two sounds like fun…ooh, chocolate cake!!!