Laugh Out Loud

10 Things To Do When You Are Having A “I Look Like Sh*t Today!” Day

beauty advice

Happy Monday everyone!  15 minutes ago, I found this post in my Drafts folder that I wrote (but didn’t publish it) earlier this year when I was (most likely) having a sh*tty day.  I had a wee chuckle reading this and thought I’d publish it today to hopefully help cure anyone with Monday-itis…

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Some days, I wake up feeling awesome, energised and ready to take on zombies (I have been watching too many episodes of The Walking Dead!).  And then there are the other days where I wake up and look in the mirror and think “I look like sh*t today!” (even a zombie wouldn’t attack me!) – and wish I could crawl back into the comfort of my bed.  Well, fear not my friends, I have come up with a list of 10 things to do when you are having a “I look like sh*t today!*” day :-

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The Story about Palmolive Shower Gel, My Husband, Zombies and a Cockroach…

cockroach

Warning :  This is a long story, but it is a true story.

One day in our local supermarket…

Me :  We need to buy new shower gel.
Husband :  Why?
Me :  Because we’ve ran out!  Duh!
Husband :  But you’re a beauty blogger!  Don’t brands send you shower gels???
Me :  Nope.
Husband :  Can’t you ask them to?

Me *rolls eyes* and gives Husband the “WTF?! face” and goes to look at the shower gel selection.

I scanned the shelves to see what was on special offer (yes, I am Asian like that!) and these big bottles of Palmolive Shower Gels caught my eye.  The Palmolive Invigorating Shower Gel with Pomegranate and Mango tickled my eyeballs and I sneakily took a sniff and I WAS SOLD as it smelt divine!  And yes, I actually bought the same one I sniffed – I am not THAT gross 😛

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My Husband’s Hands are Feeling Peachy Thanks to Mary Kay

hand cream for softer hands, best hand cream, mary kay hand cream, mary kay satinhands

Picture the following scenario…  You’re getting it on with your partner and it’s getting all hot and heavy when suddenly you feel the roughest sandpaper hands on your delicate body parts.  Do you shriek and stop or carry on because you like it like that?  If you shriek and stop, then you will definitely be interested in the following 3 Mary Kay products from the Satin Hands range which changed my husband’s sandpaper “rough as guts” hands to softer and much more pleasant (but still very manly) hands :-

  • Mary Kay Satin Smoothie Hand Scrub
  • Mary Kay Fragrance Free Hand Softener
  • Mary Kay Peach Hand Cream

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The Funniest True Story You Will Read Today!

For some unknown reason, whenever I am SUPPOSED to do something important, my mind wanders and I end up getting inspired to write something entirely different…

And for some bizarre sadistic reason known to no other, all my real-life funny stories that I like to share on my blogs involve anatomical body parts; more specifically, private parts of the body.

Today is no exception.  I am going to bare all (not-so-witty pun alert!) with this true story that I have been too embarrassed to share till now.  And I contemplated whether it was a personal blog post for my personal blog or a beauty blog post for my beauty blog and I settled for this blog – why?  Because 98% of my beauty blog readers are female and you will hopefully relate to my story…

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An Awkward Review of Lelo Smart Wand

Lelo, Smart Wand, Lelo massager

The reason for the awkwardness?  Well, you can jog your memory { here } on how I acquired the Lelo Smart Wand and laugh at me again for my naivety.  Yes, I did think it was a very odd shape for a back massager but look at the luxurious box it came in.  I didn’t think it was anything dodgy until a lot of people commented on it when I posted a picture on Instagram (which was deleted swiftly as soon as I found out!)  I was just extremely embarrassed and mortified for my lack of knowledge on such gadgets 😛  And this review is going to be slightly awkward as it will be full of un-intentional sexual innuendoes – you have been warned!

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5 Products To Spice Things Up In The Bedroom

Sorry for being MIA for the last few days but when work gets crazy busy, the last thing I want to do is blog.  Another last thing I want to do is…well, dare I say it?…no, I can’t…but let’s call it “bedroom activity”; although it isn’t constrained to just the bedroom, if ya know what I mean 😛

With regards to beauty blogging, motivation for me to blog is the lovely comments you lovely people leave me.  With regards to “bedroom activity”, my Husband is well pleased that I have discovered 5 products which give me motivation to engage in such activities.  Yep, they really spice things up in the bedroom and I am prepared to share that with you all today!  How awesome am I?  *pats myself on the back*

1.  MOR Candied Vanilla Almond Fragrant Candle

Get into “boudoir” mode by lighting a scented candle as it creates a lovely ambience.  It’s also easy to hide any flab and cellulite with this dark lighting.  Just be careful that you don’t get too frisky and knock over the candle and burn the house down!  You have been warned!

2.  Yellowglen Spritz Chilled Blush

My favourite alcoholic drink du jour is Rekordelig Strawberry & Lime Cider, but we ran out so any bubbly alcoholic drink will do.  It tickles my tastebuds and the bubbles go straight to my head which means it brings out my naughty side *wink*  You can have fun pouring this on and licking this off your partner’s body parts too!  Maybe place waterproof bedsheets under your normal bedsheets to prevent the mattress from getting drunk too 😛

3.  Fifty Shades Of Grey

Release your “inner goddess” and read aloud some erotica.  For me, Fifty Shades Of Grey is really difficult to read as it is full of bad writing and grammar, but my Husband and I skip to the sex parts.  It won’t turn you on, but it will get both of you giggling, which will loosen you up.  If reading this book does turn you on, then…I have no idea what to say, but really??!!!

4.  Shiffa Sensual Body Oil

Indulge in a sensual full body massage with this glorious rose-scented massage oil.  Too easy!!!  This was in the goody bag from the MBBE event last year and can be purchased from Miss Fox.  Like OMG, it is divine!!!  Highly recommended!

5.  Four Seasons Personal Lubricant

Now before you judge me, this was a gift from my bridal shower over 2 years ago.  As you can see, the tube is still full as we have had no need to use it – but I just wanted to show you guys because the tube glows in the dark.  And the word “lubricant” or “lube” or “lubrication” makes me giggle.  Such childish humour, right?  LOL

So…now that I’ve shared my 5 products, what are you waiting for?  Grab your partner and get onto it!  Also, do let me know what products do it for you?  

5 Beauty Products That Helped Me When I Suffered 5 Days Of Diarrhoea

I have been telling anyone and everyone about the bad bout of tummy virus I had experienced last week.  My toilet seat and I became one.  How lovely!  But I did learn some interesting things which you can all read about here – if you dare!  Anyway, I thought it would be enlightening to share about the 5 beauty products that helped me during my 5 days of suffering with diarrhoea :-

5 beauty products that helped me during 5 days of diarrhea

1.  Dr Roebuck’s Bubs & Bits*

Fantabulous!  This thick white cream was formulated for “precious parts of your body that need special attention, including a perfect post-wax and nappy rash solution”.  Now, I don’t wanna be gross ‘n’ all but an orifice in my body was cracked and VERY sore.  I was crying out in pain…and wondering WTF I could do…and then I had a genius lightbulb moment.  I remembered that I had Dr Roebuck’s Bubs & Bits waiting for me to review.  I used a cotton pad (to avoid finger contamination) to scoop out a big dollop of Bubs & Bits and bunged it onto the cracks and the coolness of the emollient cream helped to soothe and ease the pain.  So so so good!

2.  Bioeffect EGF Serum

I know I have talked about this product a lot on my blog (full review and an update) but seriously, it works wonders.  I was doing a lot of crap so I felt like crap but I refused to look like crap – so I brought out my bottle of magic and I kid you not, my skin (except the eyebags) was freaking glowing.  You couldn’t tell that I looked ill at all.

3.  Guinot Masque Yeux*

Yes, I had eyebags from lack of sleep and dehydration.  Perfect time for me to test out this instant eye mask from Guinot.  It definitely helps de-puff my bags but unfortunately, it didn’t remove the dark circles.

4. 1 Skin Solution Lip Balm in Vanilla*

I was drinking water, honey water, Gastrolyte-d water (and sneaked in cups of tea) but I was still dehydrated.  Especially after I took the meds my Doctor prescribed me.  1 Skin Solution Lip Balm in Vanilla helped prevent my lips from drying out.  Its main ingredient is petroleum which helps lock in moisture.

5.  Palmolive Soft & Gentle Extra Fresh Anti-Perspirant Deodorant in Lotus & Watermelon

Diarrhoea brings out the sweats in me.  Using this deodorant helped keep the stench at bay from my pits of the arm.  Also, I used it to spritz all over the toilet to keep another stench at bay.  It smells so much nicer than those toilet deodorizers.

(* denotes PR samples)

Many thanks to all those who sent me lovely messages.  I am much better now!  What beauty products do you use when you suffer watery bowels syndrome?

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