For some unknown reason, whenever I am SUPPOSED to do something important, my mind wanders and I end up getting inspired to write something entirely different…

And for some bizarre sadistic reason known to no other, all my real-life funny stories that I like to share on my blogs involve anatomical body parts; more specifically, private parts of the body.

Today is no exception.  I am going to bare all (not-so-witty pun alert!) with this true story that I have been too embarrassed to share till now.  And I contemplated whether it was a personal blog post for my personal blog or a beauty blog post for my beauty blog and I settled for this blog – why?  Because 98% of my beauty blog readers are female and you will hopefully relate to my story…

Ladies, can you remember the first time you went bra shopping?  Were you a teenager and were you by yourself?  Looking back, was that an embarrassing experience for you?  Well, it was for me!

And now, think back to the first time you had to go to the chemist and buy sanitary towels or tampons?  Embarrassing huh?

(If you are the 2% of my male readers , think about the first time you had to buy a porn magazine and how embarrassed you were.  Um okay…you were probably not embarrassed and more excited than anything else!!!  Yeah, whatever!)

Now that we SHOULD all be in the “I’m so embarrassed” mode…I can start my story…

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Last year, I got itchy privates.  After a consultation with Dr Google (it’s free!), I self-diagnosed it as “vaginal thrush”.

Instead of going to the chemist and picking up some anti-fungal cream to treat my itchy bits, I decided to send my Husband.

No, it’s not because I am too embarrassed to buy my own thrush cream, I am WAY over that!  I always get itchy down there when I commit carbicide (= carbohydrate suicide) by devouring too much bread.  Yeast is my Kryptonite!!!

But the reason why I sent my Husband to buy vaginal thrush cream for me is because I wanted to embarrass him!!!  What can I say?  I am a cruel, cruel bi-atch!  But in my defence, he’s extra cute when he gets embarrassed because his rosy cheeks start to glow!!  LOL  (I did tell you that he reminds me of a gnome, yeah?)

Anyway, off he went to the chemist with my instructions – “Canesten anti-fungal cream.  I don’t want the oral pill nor the pessary; just the cream please.”

He came home.  Flustered.  Cheeks a-glowing.  He handed me the box labelled Canesten anti-fungal cream.

It had been a while since my last bout of thrush as I had sworn off bread…until I discovered Breadtop, an amazing Asian bakery seen all over Australia!

I was like, “Ooh, different packaging…it’s definitely different to the one I buy in UK…it must be the Aussie version…” and proceeded to slather some on my itchy bits, hoping for relief.

FIVE days later, I was still itchy.  I was starting to get really twitchy which made me extra bitchy.  (Look it rhymes!!)

I found the instruction leaflet to see if I could get some answers to why I was still itchy F-I-V-E days later.

WTF????!!!!!

And you WILL NOT believe this?  (unless you are a pharmacist and you already know what happened!)

But I had been slathering Canesten anti-fungal cream meant for ATHLETE’S FOOT on my hoo-ha!!!

Yes, the Canesten creams shown in the photo above were all personally used by moi down there!

Yes, my Husband unknowingly poisoned my delicate female parts!

But don’t worry, my vagina survived and lived to tell the tale!

*cringe*

Lesson Of A Lifetime :  Never send a gnome-lookalike to buy you anti-fungal cream unless your vagina has athlete’s foot!

This is truer than a true story!  Hope this gave you a good giggle and prepares you for an awesome weekend!  Please like it, share it and tweet it out because I love to make people laugh!

If you have any embarrassing stories you want to share, please feel free to do so in the comment section.  Surely I cannot be the only gal out there who has these crazy but true, funny stories 😛  I MUST stop thinking about private parts!!!

14 Comments on The Funniest True Story You Will Read Today!

  1. Megan
    05/10/2012 at 11:05 am (5 years ago)

    Oh my god Ling I burst out laughing when I saw Athletes Foot Cream that is hilarious, I feel sorry for your poor hoo-ha but ohmigod that is so funny!

    • Ling
      07/10/2012 at 10:39 pm (5 years ago)

      @Megan, LOL, thanks Megan! I think I over-share but how could I not share that story right? LOL

  2. cynthia
    05/10/2012 at 12:10 pm (5 years ago)

    OMG I burst out laughing. I had one incident of embarrassment at the airport on my way back from my honeymoon. I just wanted to hide.

    • Ling
      07/10/2012 at 10:39 pm (5 years ago)

      @cynthia, AHHHH…it is SOOOO embarrassing right?

  3. jennifer huang
    05/10/2012 at 12:27 pm (5 years ago)

    HAHAHAHA omg, your poor downstairs XD at least there was no bad side effects and you have figured out the issue! lol I didn’t know OD-ing on carbs could give u vaginal thrush? D: or is it individual specific….

    • Ling
      07/10/2012 at 10:40 pm (5 years ago)

      @jennifer huang, I think I am unlucky!!! But it’s the yeast which is actually fungus which causes thrush…yes, everytime you eat bread, you eat fungus 😛

  4. Saumya
    05/10/2012 at 5:29 pm (5 years ago)

    OMG Ling you have definitely all the funny stories .. glad your downside survived well..

    • Ling
      07/10/2012 at 10:40 pm (5 years ago)

      @Saumya, LOL thanks Saumya! My poor downstairs is alive 🙂

  5. Saera
    05/10/2012 at 6:15 pm (5 years ago)

    Hahaha oh my goodness Ling! I guess you that say that was “payback” for embarrassing Noah LOLL but ah, love your stories with your hubby!

    • Ling
      07/10/2012 at 10:40 pm (5 years ago)

      @Saera, Yes, it was total payback ahhahahaha!

  6. Belinda
    05/10/2012 at 7:28 pm (5 years ago)

    Oh my gosh!!!! That is so embarrassing!
    my boyfriend was just on holidays in Hungary and he has Hungarian heritage. A girl on his tour pulled him aside and asked him to come to the pharmacy with her because she needed someone to translate. he had to translate to the chemist the symptoms of this girls thrush because he didnt know the word in Hungarian for thrush. hahahah how embarrassing. He assures me he wasnt embarrassed and thought it was cool. BOYS! Glad your hoohoo is ok!

    • Ling
      07/10/2012 at 10:41 pm (5 years ago)

      @Belinda, OMG, that’s so funny for your bf!!!! Totally embarrassing but he sounds like he was cool about it LOL. And yes, me and my hoo-ha are fine and dandy 🙂 Good seeing you today 🙂

  7. Adeline Er
    09/10/2012 at 10:33 am (5 years ago)

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Ling your post just made my day!

    • Ling
      09/10/2012 at 10:17 pm (5 years ago)

      @Adeline Er, Glad to be of service xxx